By BETSY FLAGLER
May 3 2005

Tips for celebrating Mother's Day with personal touches:

Start the day off right with breakfast in bed, even if it's just cereal, juice and coffee, and a tiny handpicked bouquet on a tray. For an added bonus, let mom sleep a little later.

If she's lucky, handmade cards, letters and poems will reflect just what Mommy wants to hear: ''You're my bestest mom.''

Mothers worldwide crave the gift of time, just to read a book without interruption, work on a scrapbook without tiny helpers or work in the garden alone.
''One of the nicest things my family ever did for me for Mother's Day was give me some plants that my husband and my daughters picked out, then he took them away to let me plant them in peace,'' says a mother in Louisville, Ky. ''That was 17 years ago, but I still remember it vividly. It was such a great gift because the most crucial lack at that time of my life was time by myself and time to pursue my favorite hobby, gardening.''

Or let your kids, of any age, do the planting. Take them to a garden shop, pick out two large clay pots, buy potting soil, gather up a few rocks for the bottom for drainage and pick out pansies to plant.

A Charlotte, N.C., mom recalls her favorite Mother's Day present: Her daughter, then 10, and son, then 14, helped her transplant a camellia bush. Another mom loved getting a special hose wand that emits water like rain, with a ''promise'' from her 6-year-old daughter to help take care of their flowers.

''My favorite of all time is a gift from my son,'' an Atlanta mother says. ''It was a coupon book with slips that read things like, 'one good hug,' 'doing the dishes one night,' 'brushing my teeth without being reminded.'''

Gift baskets related to a theme are fun, but at least make personal selections that show both dad and the kids have paid attention to what mom likes to do. Spending effort, not money, is the point.

Another idea: Think in terms of useful gifts with a handmade flair, such as a canvas tote bag with handprints or thumbprints stamped using fabric paint. Craft stores and large fabric stores carry the necessary supplies, including directions.
Maybe an athletic mom would like a yoga mat and a gift certificate to buy a new exercise outfit. For a personal touch, have your child draw mom exercising and write down quotes about what all that jumping and stretching is about.

For a funny look at mothering, add to your gift list the new book ''From Here to Maternity: The Education of a Rookie Mom'' (Broadway Books, 2005, $19.95), a memoir by Beth Teitell. With the around-the-clock job of mother, she laments, ''there's no sick time or personal days - or personal minutes even.''
A mother of two boys, Teitell shares many parenting pitfalls, including picking playdates, packing for vacations and packing on pounds.

A new collection of heartwarming stories just in time for Mother's Day is ''Caterpillar Kisses: Lessons My Kindergarten Class Taught Me about Life'' (Doubleday, 2005 $12.95), by Christine Pisera Naman.

With the gift of a book, add a note in the front and give mom coupons for reading time alone.

Surprise mom with framed photos, and add sweet or funny comments. Thumbs down to giving an empty picture frame.
Take clues from preschool teachers, who are known for helping youngsters create Mother's Day keepsakes.

One girl's teacher ''interviewed'' her on an audiotape and asked questions, such as, ''What do you like to do with your mother?'' And, ''What is your favorite food your mom makes?'' ''The most important part,'' the girl's mother says, ''is gaining insight into how my child perceives me.''

Another preschool teacher had her students draw portraits of their mothers, then respond to a few questions: ''What is her favorite activity?'' Sleeping. ''How old is your mother?'' Maybe mom will be 4 or 84. Who knows? But from little people come big payoffs, with answers like: ''Mom's face is about the best in the world.''

Tip of the week|

Noise levels in some daycare centers and homes can interfere with the language development of infants younger than 13 months, says a new University of Maryland study published in Developmental Psychology.

''This might potentially delay the onset of speech,'' says study author, Rochelle Newman, a cognitive psychologist. Infants learn to speak by being spoken to, but during their first year they have difficulty distinguishing between voices in even mildly noisy rooms, Newman says. So conversation directed at the child may simply blend into the background and go unrecognized. Turn off the television or radio, at least part of the time. Also, all caregivers should set aside quiet time or a quiet corner where infants can get the language experiences they need.

Parents concerned about their children's calorie intake can obtain a copy of the new Parent To Parent newsletter ''Getting Over Overeating'' by sending a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope and $2 to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. If you have tips or a question, please call our toll-free hotline any time at (800) 827-1092 or e-mail us at p2ptips@att.net.

Betsy Flagler, a journalist based in Davidson, N.C., teaches preschool and is the mother of a teen-age son. Copyright 2004, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

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