Pity, if just for a moment, Hugh Grant.

The poor man is practically a prisoner of the film industry.

I knew it was hard to get into the acting field, but I had no idea it was hard to get out. Boy, do I have a lot to learn.

In an interview with Vanity Fair, Grant revealed - perhaps when his handler went to the loo - that he actually hates acting.

``In fact, I hate it quite a lot,'' he said. ``All acting, but especially movie acting.''

Grant fell into the profession ``by mistake,'' he told the Vanity Fair writer, and despite his success, he wants to pursue other interests.

After all these years of misery, of his acting with a gun to his back, who knows what finally pushed Grant over the line where he'd risk going public with his woes?

Maybe it was one too many roles that called for floppy hair and stammering. Or maybe he just couldn't take all the money any more, or the babes, or the VIP treatment.

Or maybe it's just what he told Vanity Fair: ``I'm rich and my life's luxurious. But, above all, I feel a nervous exhaustion.''

Grant apparently was not at liberty to detail the forces behind his conscription, but I've heard Hollywood is a tough town. I just didn't realize how tough. To make a man have his hair and makeup done against his will, well, it's not human.

When I think about how I enjoyed myself during ``Four Weddings and a Funeral'' and ``Sense and Sensibility'' and ``About a Boy,'' it makes me feel sick. There I was, munching popcorn and drinking a keg of diet soda, while the charming befuddled man on the screen was miserable.

Hugh, if I had only known what you were going through, I wouldn't have seen ``Notting Hill'' or ``Bridget Jones's Diary'' or ``The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain.''

It's people like me, I realize now - people who turn a blind eye to quality and continue to buy tickets to movies such as ``Two Weeks Notice'' and ``Mickey Blue Eyes'' - who are empowering the very forces compelling you to do the work you rightfully find so distasteful.

In the Vanity Fair interview, Grant also reveals he's secretly a cad. He says he's not as charming as the characters he often plays.

``I'm full of poison and jealousy,'' Grant said. ``Virtually no milk of human kindness.''

No human kindness. Well, obviously that's not his fault. It's simply the natural result of years of forced labor.

Looking back, I realize the incident with the hooker in California was a cry for help. Grant reached out the only way he knew how, but did his public recognize his plea for what it was? No. Instead, he was rewarded with a string of high-profile talk-show appearances, which, of course, garnered high ratings, practically guaranteeing Hugh would be forced to continue his servitude.

The question is, where does he go from here? He told Vanity Fair he wants to take a break from acting - as if that were possible - and settle down with a wife and child.

He'd be a great dad, too. Imagine the advice he could give his little girl or boy: ``I want better for you,'' he'll say as he guides his offspring into a career in garbage collection or accounting. ``I don't want you to suffer the way I did.''