Another belief goes down the drain

by Beth Teitell
Tuesday, May 28, 2002

I was scrolling through CNN.com the other day, dutifully working my way through a keg of Poland Spring, when I happened on this headline in the health section: ``How much water do we really need?''

``At least eight 8-oz. glasses a day,'' I answered smugly, running to the bathroom and then settling in front of my computer for an enjoyable read.

If there's one thing that makes me feel good - other than downing enough water to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool - it's a news story confirming the health benefits of something I'm already doing. (It's not unlike the sense of satisfaction I get from putting a just-completed task on my ``to do'' list, and then checking it off with a flourish. ``Done!'')

Unfortunately, such health reports are few and far between. In fact, I can't remember one. If anyone out there knows of a study that finds ``talking on cell phone builds brain cells,'' or ``buying capri pants, but then deciding you feel too silly to wear them once you've removed the tags, lengthens and slims legs,'' please let me know.

So anyway, I was all psyched to read about how great I was, hydration-wise, and then I was hit in the face with this cold glass of water: ``You've heard it for years,'' the CNN copy read. ``Drink at least eight glasses of water a day. But now some scientists say that may be an urban myth.''

Urban myth? I'm not the kind of person who falls for those. As a child at sleep-away camp, I never believed the story about the woman who went to Mexico on vacation, bought a Chihuahua, took it to a vet back home and then learned her new ``dog'' was a rat. I knew the tale about the kid who told Bozo the Clown to ``shove it'' on live TV wasn't true, and that alligators weren't running amok in the New York City sewer system.

But now, as a mature adult, I've been sucked in by water?

CNN medical correspondent Elizabeth Cohen talked to scientists at the USDA and the National Academy of Sciences and lots of other big-name places (or at least she claims she did; maybe her mind was so addled by agua that she doesn't know what she's doing anymore), and the whole water thing, she reported, ``appears to be kind of a myth.'' Fake-o. ``We can't find a single study that says that's what people ought to do.''

When I broke the news to a friend she put her head in her hands and wailed. ``No, it can't be. It can't be.''

She wasn't even drinking much water. ``I don't know why I'm so upset,'' she said, swigging from her Coke can. ``It's just so shocking.''

I understood how she felt. I wasn't a Rules girl, but even so, I was shaken when it came out that one of the co-authors of the famous and controversial dating guide was divorcing. And I never achieved my fiber goals, but I was still saddened by those two major studies that found eating enough roughage to pass a wicker chair, as one comedian put it, doesn't provide protection against colon cancer after all.

``You've got to be able to believe in something,'' my friend said.

She's right. As for me, I'm going to believe in the studies that found red wine and chocolate have health benefits.

If anyone's heard anything to the contrary, please keep it to yourself.