Grump-Out Day, while necessary, is probably overreaching

by Beth Teitell
Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Today, as you probably know, is the first ``Great American Grump-Out.'' Its founder, one Janice Hathy of Kalamazoo, Mich., is urging people to be pleasant to each other from sunup until sundown. (She couldn't have held it on Dec. 21?)

But anyway, here's my question: How nice do we have to be? Nice nice, or just a little less vicious than usual?

I'm no shrink, but I'm not sure, even if we could pull it off, that it would be safe for Bostonians to be grump-free for an entire day. Like fat squeezed by a girdle, the anger would have to go someplace. Come nightfall, the whole town would be ready to blow.

Rather than trying to be nice all day, maybe we should set more realistic goals. Instead of cutting off another driver and giving the finger, just cut the JERK off and leave it at that. Or tailgate aggressively, but don't honk at the same time.

If you're talking to a friend from New York, don't say ``Yankees Suck!'' Just bring it down a notch: ``Yankees Stink!''

If you're at the supermarket today, and the shopper in front of you unloads 13 items in ``12 items or fewer'' line, glare, don't assault her.

And don't forget to smile! Or maybe do forget to smile. ``There's nothing more annoying than fake niceness,'' one of my friends said.

She recalled a trip to visit a friend in the heart of the country's smile belt.

``By the time I got back from Atlanta I was relieved to be around people who were rude and brusque. Down there, everyone was so nice that it took too long to do things. The woman selling me iced tea wanted to know where I came from, and was I enjoying Atlanta, and what had I seen since coming to town. I was like, `Look, lady, I just want my beverage.' ''

We wondered if our anti-chat attitude said something depressing about us . . . but we decided no, it didn't.

``Sometimes what's perceived as `rudeness' is really just `I've got things to do,' '' my friend explained.

She thought about the grump-out day for a moment, and then turned on its founder. ``Who is this lady, anyway?''

Hathy, as you would expect, is not as nice as her day might suggest. She runs a stress-management business called ``Smile Mania,'' and the way I look at it, the Grump-Out Day is simply an attempt to drum up business in one of two ways:

• by increasing stress nationwide by forcing people to be nice for a whole day; and

• by getting the address of her business' Web site in news stories about Grump-Out Day. It's www.smilemania.com, and believe me, it's so annoying that after reading it you need to detox with a stress-management course.

  Actually, the real problem with Grump-Out Day is that it's part of a proliferation of days dedicated to self-improvement. National Smoke Out Day, National Root Vegetables Day, National 30 Minutes of Aerobic Exercise Three Times a Week Day.

  Why not a day we want once in a while? Like National the Person in Front of You at Starbucks Day Will Not Order a Drink So Complicated It Takes the Barista an Hour to Make Day, or National You Can Understand Your Verizon Bill Day.

  Nah, some things are impossible.

  Let's settle for National Other People Are Idiots Day.

  Oh yeah, we already have that one, and as one of my friends pointed out, ``it's every day.''

  Maybe we should all be a bit nicer.