Baby calling cards show playing is serious business
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, March 23, 2006
What’s scarier than knowing Donald and Melania Trump named their new baby Barron? Seeing the sprout’s moniker on a baby business card.
I know, because I found the very thing in my e-mail inbox yesterday. Don’t get me wrong. The note wasn’t from Master Barron himself - I should be so lucky - but from a PR company using the newest Trumpet to grab ink for a client who makes business cards for babies. ‘‘Time to Play! Barron Trump” one too-cute card read.
Yes, it’s true. Babies now have their own cards, although of course they don’t carry them themselves. A wallet bulge in the diaper sends such a bad message. Makes a kid look like he’s got a wad of cash, when any infant worth knowing pays with a credit card. Which means that handing out the cards is your job. You are officially your child’s ‘‘people.” As in ‘‘have your people call my people.”
If there’s any good in this trend, and there’s precious little, it’s that the babies don’t yet know about the cards. Because, you know kids. One day they’re happy just to have a card, then the next they want a fancy title - none of this VP of Smiles business, either - and use of the corporate jet even after they leave the company, er, I mean family.
Ilene Segal, founder and creative director of baby idesign (www.babyidesign.com), said the cards are ideal for moms (or, more likely, nannies) to hand out when they’ve got their hands full at the end of a networking session (also known as Gymboree), but they want to make a contact.
And woe to the child who’s not crawling at corporate speed. Consider this cautionary tale told by a working mom. She and her daughter met another mom-child couple at the beach. All had a lovely time and there was talk of getting together again. The working mom handed over her business card to the other mom, who was a stay-at-home type. Big mistake. ‘‘She never called,” the jilted one told me. ‘‘I sounded too corporate.”
‘‘How come we never play with Mackenzie?” her daughter often asks.
Because Mommy didn’t get baby her own card. The cards themselves aren’t a payroll buster - you can get 75 for $75 - but even so, they’re gonna cost you. A child with his own card needs to throw an impressive play-meeting, complete with a professional governess on site, a playroom stocked with the latest educational toys and catering by Whole Foods, with an all-you-can drink organic juice box bar.
‘‘We’re ready for our binkies now, and Mom, hold my calls, please.”
