The truth? Lying workers help make world go ’round
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, March 9, 2006

Survey: 1 in 5 workers lie.
    - CareerBuilder.com
     So, I wondered after reading the survey, who are the bigger liars?
        The honest people who admitted they lie at least once a week - or the liars pretending to be honest?
        Only 1 in 5 lie? What’s wrong with the other four, I thought. And I wasn’t alone. “That number sounds very low to me,” an office worker I polled about the poll responded. “Do you lie?” I asked.
        “It is the foundation of my career,” she told me. “Literally. When I was first hired you had to be able to type. I couldn’t type, but figured that I’d learn as I went. So during the interview I was asked about my typing speed, and I said ‘60 words per minute,’ because that sounded pretty good. Got the job. Moral of this story: Lies are the elastic waistband of society’s pants.”
        “Do you want to hear about lying at home, too?” she asked, eager to confess.
        I did, but she was starting to unnerve me, especially as I remembered a recent dinner party at her house, in which she offered me “nonfat profiteroles.” Et tu, Brute?
        But these workplace lies are frightening, particularly because the No. 1 reason given for lying is to “appease a customer.”
        And, to paraphrase Marilyn Monroe, I know I’ve been on the fuzzy end of that one. As in: “That bathing suit looks gorgeous on you, especially from the back.” Or, “Your table will be ready in five minutes.” Or “This is the last one we have in stock. If you want it, you better take it now.” Or, “This is as low as we can go.”
        I feel like the whole world just yelled “Gotcha!”
        So besides trying to kiss up to, or blow off, customers, why else do workers lie? Two of the top reasons were to cover their tracks and to protect another employee. Gee, that sounds kind of nice. In fact, “I like your outfit” and “you look great” were two of the big fibs.
        With falsehoods like that, who needs friends? Note to any co-workers reading this: Lie to me, please.
        As for myself, I’ve always believed honesty(ish) is the best policy, especially because I subscribe to the George Costanza moral code. As he told Jerry one day, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
        In other words, I feel a bad cold coming on and probably won’t be able to come to work tomorrow. Honestly.