How’s a celeb supposed to make it in Hollywood?
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
“Stars accept pay cuts as Hollywood profits dip.”
- The Sunday Times, Jan. 22
I don’t know about you, but I was horrified to think that while I was sitting comfortably at my job, earning a nice cost-of-living raise, some of our best public servants - reportedly Tom Hanks, Cameron Diaz and Johnny Depp - were signing contracts that could potentially cost them millions in lost income.
Sure, Hollywood’s finest will put a brave Botox-ed face on cutting back on lucrative “first dollar” arrangements that give them a share of the film’s box-office take regardless of whether the studio covered costs. But that doesn’t mean they don’t need our help.
The moment I’m off work today, I’m going to organize a civilian karaoke-style Live Aid concert to raise awareness about the plight of A-listers suffering at the hands of hard-driving studio heads.
But I can’t do it alone. I need your help. Please, if you care at all, organize a telethon, or, if you lack access to the airwaves or a large phone bank, ask the owner of your local movie theater if you can pass a hat after the previews.
How bad is the situation?
Some of our biggest stars - Nicole Richie, Mary-Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan - already appear to be starving to death. Next time you see an article on the first-gross plague striking Hollywood, don’t turn away. Hold a bake sale, testify in front of Congress or write to Jay Leno urging him to auction another signed motorcycle.
This tragic news is a lot to digest, and one can’t help but wonder where it will lead. Will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt be hit (or have they already been)? With two small children at home and a baby on the way, they of all stars certainly need a bit of extra attention. I don’t presume to speak for them, but I’m sure that donations of new or gently used high-end strollers (nothing below Bugaboos, please) would be appreciated, as would designer maternity clothes (new and spring ’06 styles only, please).
But you know what’s not appreciated? Cynicism. Get this: I was making plans for a “walk for the walk of fame” yesterday when one woman I hit up for a pledge asked why celebrities needed her help.
Although there’s a natural humanitarian argument to be made - imagine the stress of trying to make multiple second- and third-home mortgage payments - I had a feeling that wouldn’t win her over. I pointed out that a reduction in stars could spark a global downturn in the economy, with sales of telephoto lenses, celebrity magazines and Ugg boots falling dangerously.
She shrugged, until I pulled out the big guns: “The Oscars aren’t far off,” I warned. “Do you really want to live in a world without the red carpet?”
With that, she pulled out her wallet and handed over $20. A true Hollywood ending.
