Serve a side dish of Xanax with Thanksgiving turkey
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, November 17, 2005

The family dinner - is it a nice way to bond, feasting on the joys of each other’s company? Or an event so stress-inducing that wellness experts must take to the airwaves and the Internet with ”tips for taming Turkey Day stress” (in the words of Dr. Andrew Weil)?

”What is it about ’The Day’ that freaks everyone out?” one of my friends asked, wiggling her fingers in the air as she intoned ”The Day,” as if it were the name of a horror movie. ”All you’re doing is having turkey and some sides. How hard can it be?”

She mentioned she had scheduled an extra session with her therapist to steel herself for the holiday and was hoping she could get a doctor’s note to get out of attending the festivities.

”I don’t know if the holidays were always perceived as being stressful,” she added. ”Think of those old songs: ’I’ll Be Home For Christmas,’ and ’White Christmas,’ which blather on about snow and presents and carols and sleigh bells. No mention of Xanax and the need to lie down.”

So where did we go wrong? Now most of the talk about the holidays focuses on avoiding weight gain, coping with unpleasant relatives (I hope no one’s reading up on how to deal with me right at this very moment.) and preparing for Friday’s shopping marathon.

Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t we take some of the pressure off the day by requiring stores to open on Thursday? If movie theaters can do it, why not Banana Republic? The shoppers would love it, and, who knows, I bet there’s an employee or two who wouldn’t mind blaming a hasty exit from the table on the boss. ”Sorry, Aunt Jean, I’d love to tell you why I’m not married yet, but my shift’s about to start.”

Or maybe stress is the industrial engine that fuels Thanksgiving, because it isn’t (yet) a gift-giving holiday. Just this morning I received a cinnamon-scented envelope from Vax, the vacuum cleaner company. ”Let’s face it,” the press release read, ”while the holiday season might be ’the most wonderful time of the year’ for some people, it can be a stressful time for those of us who find ourselves hosting family get-togethers.”

And what better way to relieve stress than by using Vax’s cinnamon-scented exhaust filter while cleaning your home before your loved ones arrive, noses aloft. If that doesn’t work, try a tip from Tide Fabric’s Web site, and give yourself more time to prepare by entertaining on the weekend, not Thursday. I suppose you can TiVo the Macy’s parade. (And of course, don’t forget to treat holiday stains with Tide.)

If those tips don’t help, take heart, you only have to enjoy all this family togetherness twice a year.