Inner peace has its price in spiritual marketplace
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, November 10, 2005

Just as we get up to warp speed for the relentless onslaught of rampant commercialism that is the holiday season, there’s some good news: We’re saved. For lo, unto us, a new type of consumer has been tagged: the metrospiritual.

And, unlike their metrosoulless counterparts, metrospirituals use their credit cards for good, not evil. When they leave the mall with armloads of bags, it’s for a higher purpose.

Or, as Beliefnet.com, the religion and spirituality Web site that beatified the new group, explains it: ”From clothes to food to lifestyle, metrospirituality is about being hip and holistic and seeking inner bliss.”

And, oh, shopping. Lots of shopping. ”Metrospirituality finds its roots in the mainstreaming of Taoist, Buddhist and Hindu values, among other traditions, into an easily digestible, buyable form.”

Easily digestible, buyable form. Chicken soup for the soul, indeed.

Talk about a welcoming religion. Just as I was feeling glum that, unlike Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow, I’m not a metrospiritual but a ’burboloser, I happened upon the list of qualifications and realized that hey, I might not spend my free time shlepping to ashrams or practicing wu wei, whatever that is, but I do shop at Whole Foods and Anthropologie, metrospiritual-approved outlets both.

As the Beliefnet release says: ”In a time of political uncertainty, natural disasters and terrorist threats, maybe what metrospirituals are really doing is holding out the hope that, through their personal practices and purchases, they are making the world a safer, more friendly, benevolent place.”

Which means that the $100 I paid for an Anthropologie skirt I had to have - yet to be worn - was not a sinful waste of money. Au contraire, I was unselfishly doing my part to make this planet a little bit safer. You’re welcome.

I couldn’t wait to share my point of light with a friend who prides herself on avoiding Back Bay boutiques and overpriced yuppie food emporiums. ”What have you done to fight terrorism and hurricanes?” I demanded. ”Huh?”

Oops, that was not very metrospiritual of me. Or maybe it was. Even though Beliefnet.com describes metrospirituality as being a kind, gentle and post-yuppie state of being, I couldn’t help but notice a certain judgmental tone.

Beliefnet.com’s press release features a a big ”What’s in and What’s Out” section, and labels Demi Moore, personal trainers and even feng shui as ”not metrospiritual.”

My friend, an avowed a-metrospiritualist, shot right back with a sarcastic motto: ”If you can’t be good, buy good. ”

As I walked away, dismayed that she didn’t appreciate the most heartfelt social trend since yuppies started buying SUVs the size of aircraft carriers to demonstrate their kinship with nature, I heard her chanting: ”The universe is my personal shopper. I shall not want, I will buy free-trade products and shade-tree coffee. Prada restoreth my sole.”