Wi-fi hogs spark dream of pulling plug on technology
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I was having lunch at the Miracle of Science Bar & Grill in Cambridge recently, when talk turned to the restaurant's free wireless Internet access. The waitress mentioned that sometimes, if a laptop user is bugging her, she'll shut off the access. Just like that. They probably don't even know what hit them, the poor fools.

Not wanting to get on her bad side before my meal was safely on the table, I kept my mouth shut, but allowed myself a silent gasp. This woman plays God.

While a call later to the restaurant revealed that pulling the plug is most certainly not the establishment's policy, and in fact no one could recall it ever happening, the vigilante waitress isn't the only one to take such action against annoying wireless mooches.

In what may or may not be an emerging trend, a few cafes across the country, burned by table hogs who type away all day without ordering any food or drink, are reducing the number of hours they offer wi-fi. That would be the very same wi-fi they offered in order to lure laptop users into the cafe.

So here's the question: Are wireless junkies the new smokers? If a few bad Apples spoil it for everyone, will we soon see laptop users huddled outside wireless hot spots, logged on and hunched over their computers?

I'm not saying I want to drive them out completely - I, too, am a laptop user, albeit one who buys plenty of food - but who among us hasn't hovered in a cafe holding a hot cup of coffee, hoping against hope that at least one of the drones will finish work and free up a table?

``I've considered asking cafe workers to turn off the wireless,'' a woman with well-developed passive-aggressive tendencies told me. ``I wish I could do it myself,'' she said. She added that she'd also love to have one of those new TV-B-Gone remotes that allow civilians to turn off TVs in such places as airports and bars.

Also on her wish list: a special device that would allow her to remotely shut down an ATM if the customer in front of her is dawdling or making too many transactions and, of course, a personal cellphone jammer. ``I'd have it in my purse and they'd never know it was me,'' she said.

I could see her point, and yet, her brand of tough love was almost enough to make me pity the laptopians. Almost.