Image control: State needs a Necco waiver
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, June 9, 2005 - Updated: 03:23 AM EST

I love this town, but everything that's wrong with us will be on display on Beacon Hill today, when the Joint Committee on State Administration and Regulatory Oversight holds a hearing on making the Necco Wafer - yes, the Necco Wafer - the state candy.

I've got nothing against Neccos, per se. As a medicine, they'd be great. ``Wow,'' you'd say to yourself, chewing a two-disc dose of Necco-tussin, ``this tastes fantastic. I hardly need to wash it down with water.''

So maybe we should make them the state meds. Or, as one of my Catholic friends suggested, the state Communion wafer.

``If you live in Massachusetts,'' she said, ``it would have to be done - a candy sacrament.''

Neccos are the sensible shoe of the candy world. Puritan candy. A treat that's not really - let's be honest - a treat.

With all due respect to the Girl Scout troop on whose behalf Rep. Bob Coughlin (D-Dedham) filed this misguided bill, there's no way we should let this image-killer get the prestigious ``state candy'' nod.

Where's the powerful saltwater taffy lobby when you really need it?

Yesterday, as the hearing loomed,I called Coughlin's office. He wasn't around - probably out on a Necco binge - so I grilled his legislative aide, Sarah MacDonald, who insisted she likes Neccos.

``Really?'' I asked.

``Yes,'' she said.

Thinking about the recent Deep Throat revelation and proud of the sacred role of journalists, I lowered my voice. ``Let's go off the record.''

MacDonald stuck to her story, although she did seem to hint that she didn't love the licorice flavor, but I was no longer listening.

I was too depressed about another opportunity we'd blown back when the Boston Cream Pie was named ``state dessert.''

It's probably too late to stop the Necco juggernaut, especially with a troop of cute Girl Scouts behind it, but Rep. Coughlin, in case you're reading this, let me whisper one word in your ear: fudge.