Careless fans could meet grizzly end
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - Updated: 09:13 AM EST

``The actor Russell Crowe was arrested Monday morning for allegedly throwing a telephone at an employee of the Manhattan hotel where he was staying.''

- Associated Press, June 6, 2005

In the wake of the latest celebrity attack, fans are being advised to exercise extreme caution when approaching movie or TV stars.

While they may look cute and cuddly, an actor who feels threatened - or disappointed by weekend grosses - may strike without provocation.

If you see a star in real life, do not offer him food and do not, repeat, do not snap his picture. Like grizzlies, actors may misinterpret these seemingly benign actions and go on the offensive.

Young females are advised not to wear revealing clothing, as a display of bare skin may be misinterpreted by a star as a mating signal, triggering ``grope'' behavior on the part of the celeb.

Though they most often roam in protected areas - The Ivy restaurant in L.A., courtside at a Knicks game - economic pressures sometimes force celebrities to forage for publicity in more populated spaces.

And it is at these times, out of their usual habitats, that stars are at their most volatile and dangerous. The pressure of making public appearances is often enough to make them snap, particularly if they are guarding their young.

So what should you do if you find yourself in close proximity to a star? First, pretend not to notice, even if you two are riding alone in an elevator.

Second, do not make eye contact, as stars consider this a threat. Do not pull out your cellphone and call a friend to report your ``sighting,'' as this also will be interpreted as an act of aggression and may result in the destruction of your phone.

Although there is little statistical evidence on the prevalence of such incidents, celebrity rangers fear that attacks may be growing - Burt Reynolds reportedly attacked an assistant producer in May - as a growing number of star-obsessed magazines and TV shows increase pressure on the species.

So what should you do if a celebrity is bearing down on you? Your only chance at salvation may be to wave a receipt proving that you have spent money on his/her latest film or CD.

That seems to have a calming effect.

Or, you could play dead.