Power of Babble: To deprive us of our right to listen in
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, June 1, 2005

As if office workers don't already suffer enough, a new product's poised to hit the market that could make our work life, in the words of one Dilbert, ``not worth living.''

The enemy's name is Babble. It's a small, innocuous-looking wireless device that has a way of scrambling voices, so that you'll no longer be able to hear your office-mate's end of her phone conversations.

Babble's creators gleefully describe their invention as ``turning one person's voice into something that sounds like a small-group conversation.'' They brag that ``Anyone standing just a few feet away can hear the person talking but is unable to discern the content of the conversation because it's being muddled by the other voices.''

But that's not what it sounds like to my Dilbert friend. To her, it's the loss of an inside track on juicy - and, OK, sometimes boring - information.

Such as: Who's fighting with her family? Who's getting dental work done? Who's making flight reservations? Small stuff, and yet, without it, ``What's the point of coming into the office?''

She's spent years perfecting her ``I'm not listening in'' pose. Her ``Oh, I'm sorry, are you upset about something, I didn't even notice you were on the phone'' expression.

But wait. The technological threat worsens. The phone scrambler is just the first entry in what's been dubbed the ``cone of silence'' product line. Coming next from Herman Miller Inc. is a ``breakthrough'' that will make it impossible to snoop on face-to-face conversations.

Hey, Herman, stick with the Aeron chairs, OK?

Where's OSHA when you really need some protection?

Listening in is one of work's great pleasures. It's a self-bestowed perk that makes up for not having your own four walls. A benefit management can't cut back on.

Until now, that is. Babbles will cost less than $400. Sorry, no office holiday party this year. We're buying Babbles.

``This is going to have enormous ramifications,'' one big thinker - and big snooper - told me. ``If we get them at my office, I'd be better off working from home and trying to figure out how to hack into my colleagues' e-mail accounts than shlepping in.''

Or, maybe, her time would be better spent - no, not working - but inventing a device to unscramble the scramblers.

History, after all, is replete with stories of advance and counter-advance. Caller ID begat Caller ID-blocking begat blocking calls with blocked Caller IDs.

Coming up with a descrambler could take a while. But it will be worth it. Otherwise, what will there be to do at work, but work?