Don't paint Parking Nazi as all bad
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, May 26, 2005

Is he a jerk? Or a hero??

Depends on which side of the spray paint you're on, I guess.

Earlier this week, as Jamaica Plain residents were cheering the capture of Robert Feest, the self-appointed traffic vigilante who allegedly vandalized cars in an attempt to persuade owners to comply with regulations, I got an unsettling call from a friend.

``Is there a little Parking Nazi in all of us?'' she asked with an evil laugh.

``He decided not to live a life of quiet desperation,'' she noted in admiration. ``He decided to live a life of chocolate and poo.'' (His signature punishments included dousing vehicles in chocolate syrup or feces, among other substances.)

``Off the record, have you done anything like that?'' I asked. ``You seem kind of hostile.''

``Not yet. But my rage seethes within like a cauldron of venom set on simmer.''

She described scenarios deserving of attention from civilian law enforcement officials such as herself: the neighbors who, not wanting to disturb their roommates, take their cellphone conversations out onto the stoop, thereby disturbing her; the supermarket shoppers who abandon their carts at the head of the checkout lane instead of returning them to the cart corral, clogging traffic; the Starbucks customers with overly complicated and fussy beverage orders.

Hey you, with the half-decaf sugar-free vanilla venti nonfat latte with extra foam and light on the syrup, watch your back!

And yet, for every person cheering on Feest, there's a scofflaw who can do without these little civilian citations.

``We have a guy on the street I live on in Charlestown whose big issue is stopping speeding cars,'' a speeder told me.

``He stands there and if he thinks you're going too fast he'll write down your license plate and call the police.'' The man recently wrote ``SLOW'' down the entire length of the street in chalk.

``It's a minor nuisance,'' the Charlestown resident told me.

``The speeding?'' I asked.

``No,'' he said, ``the guy. He should be arrested for defacing our beautiful, paved street.''