The usual suspects? Why it's us, of course
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Help! I'm the victim of a financial crime. Many crimes actually. On a daily basis.

The good news? I've snagged the criminal. The bad news? It's me. And I'm not sure I can be stopped.

Lucky never to have had my identity stolen or my checkbook electronically infiltrated, I've apparently taken on the task of financial sabotage myself, making sure to waste small amounts of money on a regular basis or engage in acts of fiscal irresponsibility that would be actionable if committed by someone else.

This unsettling thought hit me in the gut yesterday, when I read on MSNBC.com that ``new scams'' are targeting checking accounts.

How about this for a new (self-) scam? Take a check from your checkbook, and, without even noting its number, put it - blank - in your pocket, to be filled out later with the pertinent info. I do it all the time.

Someone, please, arrest me.

And cuff my friends, too. ``Augh!'' one of my colleagues yelled yesterday. She was going through a pile of documents that she'd filed in an infrequently used bag. ``It's a check from January - when I think of the interest I've lost.''

Sensing a kindred spirit, I asked whether she'd committed any other crimes against herself (and the rest of her family).

Without counsel present, she confessed to: routinely incurring $5 fees for paying parking tickets past the 21 allotted days; ``grocery shopping'' at the office cafeteria's salad bar because she didn't feel like going to the supermarket; and regularly paying a ``mystery'' fee on a little-used credit card.

``I'm anal enough to pay the bill in full,'' she said, ``but I'm letting this fee go by without question.''

``And,'' she added, ``of course there are the out-of-network AMT fees.''

``Here is my dark fiscal confession,'' another colleague told me: ``I let my monthly credit card bill ferment to the point where it's THE ACTUAL DUE DATE and I pay by check over the phone, incurring a $10 fee. Cost of stamp: 33 cents.''

A more fiscally responsible person overhearing our conversation put in her two cents (talk about a waste!): ``You can't stay on top of everything,'' she said nicely.

Now that's consolation you can take to the bank - or file in an unused bag and add up later.