Latest way to find your mate is full of holes
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, May 5, 2005

``When somebody's got a loaded gun at your back . . . it made us trust each other quickly.''

- Angelina Jolie, explaining to Vanity Fair how she and Brad Pitt came to trust each other while taking gun training for their upcoming film, ``Mr. and Mrs. Smith''

Call me old fashioned, but a man's got to do more than abstain from plugging me to win my confidence.

I mean, isn't that setting the bar pretty low? Where's keeping all of my secrets? Where's always being on my side? Where's loving me while I'm wearing my glasses and old bathrobe and at the high end of my weight?

Does ``safe sex'' now mean wearing a bulletproof vest on the first date? And I guess ``Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?'' is more than just a punch line.

But then again, who am I to say what turns on Hollywood types? I've never worn a vial of my lover's blood around my neck.

Maybe in L.A., not shooting your S.O. is the new ``Baby I'm always here for you.''

Of course, falling in love over the gun that didn't go off does make for a great story to tell your eventual children: ``I knew your daddy was the man for me when he didn't pull the trigger.''

Didn't pull the trigger. It's so romantic it gives you goose bumps, doesn't it?

Wondering where this fits in the latest dating wisdom, I tried to reach the authors of ``He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.''

Alas, they just weren't that into me (the publicist said something about them not doing interviews at this time), so I came up with my own book: ``He's Just Not Aiming For You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding the Ballistics Report.''

I can already see the Glock tie-ins.

I did, however, reach Ellen Fein, co-author of a former hot dating book, ``The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right.''

And guess what? She says women ought to hold out for more than a gun-free dinner date. ``That's why you do the rules,'' she said. ``You want a lot more from a relationship.''

Meanwhile, if there's one couple who might want to do some trust-building with a piece, it's the runaway bride and her would-be groom.

Shotgun wedding, anyone?