Want to stay hip? Better toe the line

By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Hmm. Which cosmetic enhancement is the new must-have? What treatment will I lust after next? I wondered the other day. Then it hit me: a toe lift.

I was at work when a spirited discussion about pedicures broke out around me. The general consensus: Feet are the new breasts.

(A man listening disagreed - ``breasts are the new breasts,'' he insisted.)

But the group ignored his input and offered evidence for the foot's prominence.

``Look at Eva Longoria on `Desperate Housewives,' one scholar said. ``She's always got her feet in everyone's faces.''

We were all nodding when my phone rang. A friend who's a former prosecutor was on the line.

``I've empanelled a jury based on who had painted toes and who didn't,'' she said. ``You get no information about these people, so you go with what you can get. I feel it says something about a person.''

``Like what?'' I wanted to know, glad she couldn't see my ragged toes.

``It says that at some level this is a conscientious person.''

Note to prospective jurors: If you're trying to sleaze out of your civic duty, try going au natural, unless of course that would make you appealing to the defense.

But these days, toenails are important even if you're not heading to court.

Consider this story, relayed by one of the pedi-pundits: ``I got a manicure a few days ago and afterwards I gave a homeless man some change. He said, `Your nails look great.' ''

She thanked him for the compliment. ``Do your feet look like that, too?'' he asked.

How could he know about her foot issues? She keeps them hidden at all times. ``Like a geisha,'' she said. ``If I could wear snow boots year-round I would.''

Alas, that's no longer possible. Even though Uggs are still in in some circles, wearing shearling boots in summer draws looks.

Which means you've got to get a pedicure.

Which means - yikes - letting the lady at the nail salon see your unpolished toes.