Clothes make the (thinner) woman
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, April 7, 2005

Time is money. But it's also weight. As in losing it.

These days, with all the reality shows to watch, who has time to meet the government's recommendation for 90 minutes of exercise a day?

Well, you, as it turns out. At least if you're wearing Earth shoes (and not because the homely clodhoppers will so poison your social life you'll have nothing but time to spend on the treadmill).

According to data provided by - who else - Earth shoes' PR team - people walking in ``negative-heeled'' Earth shoes burn approximately 25 percent more calories per hour than those foolish enough to wear some other kind of footwear.

How much weight are we talking? Earth claims a 140-pound woman walking four miles a day (at 4 miles per hour) for a year could lose eight pounds in a year.

Or, put another way: enough to make you attractive enough to offset the fashion toll wearing the shoes takes on your appearance.

And here's why: Earth shoes have a 3.7 percent incline from the heel to the toe. So, if you don't tip over backward, the good news is that each 1 percent incline allegedly adds a 7 percent greater calorie expenditure to an activity. Do the math - and then run, no, walk - to an ice cream store.

Now that my eyes have been opened to the possibility of dressing not to kill, but to lose weight, I've come to view my closet in a different light.

Why dress to look 10 pounds thinner when I could dress to be 10 pounds lighter?

I mentioned the idea to one of my favorite fashionistas, and she started nodding right away.

``I once had a sweater with a weird neckline,'' she began. ``It was more of a canoe neck than a boat neck. In any event, it kept sliding down to either side, revealing my bra strap. So I spent the entire day jerking up my shoulders, one at a time, to center the stupid thing. Who needs shoulder rolls as aerobic warmup when you can just wear poorly made things?''

And who needs the latest ab-cruncher machine, when you can simply don an ``ab halter.'' The muscle control needed for an entire day of sucking in an exposed belly has got to be just as good as any core-strengthening pilates class.

And the season's must-have satchel, the roomy Balenciaga, not only marks you as stylish, but crammed with lots of stuff, serves as a dumbbell, too.

``It's the closet guide to weight loss,'' my friend said, as she selected a pair of 4-inch heels, the better to leap - no, lunge - over puddles - and hopefully into a size 4 bikini.