Stars get blinded by spotlights in their eyes
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Like so many others mourning the Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt split - and hoping against hope that it was just a misunderstanding - I was distraught on Friday when I heard that papers had been filed.

``What could have broken them up?'' one of my friends wailed into my answering machine.

What? What else? Jenn, who was the one to make things official, cited the old standby: ``Irreconcilable differences.''

``I know what that means for regular people,'' my friend said. ``They're sick of each other, or one of them is cheating, or the money fights have gotten too much, but what does it mean when stars say it?''

Here's what: ``No, I won't go to another kabbala meeting, no matter how much you whine; you used all my bronzer, you jerk; you were three-quarters of an inch in front of me for that photo shoot, you camera-hog.''

Meanwhile, the irreconcilable business wasn't the only puzzler to come out of the divorce. In the obligatory rehashing of the couple's history, the news stories all noted that they'd met on a blind date.

So here's what I want to know: How do two of the most famous and photographed people in the world possibly go on a blind date?

And how does it work? Did friends of his people call mutual friends of her people?

I'd love to have seen that. Did they go through the pretense of introducing themselves? ``Hello, I'm Bradly Pitt.''

What did Jenn's friend tell her? ``You'll like him - he's a real Brad Pitt type?''

And how did she describe herself in the pre-date phone call? ``You'll recognize me in the bar - I'm the one with the Rachel from `Friends' haircut. And I'll be trailed by a horde of paparazzi.''

If there's any good to come out of this tragedy, it's that maybe it shows all of us that it's time to retire the term ``blind date.''

``In the age of Google,'' one dater told me, ``you don't have to be set up with a Brad Pitt to know a lot about who you're meeting.

``You can learn a nobody's whole history before he's even opened his mouth,'' she added, ``before you've even seen him.''

Meanwhile, as fans struggle to cope with the seeming finality of the court filings, at least we can console ourselves with the prospect of their impending rebound romances.

Keep your eyes out for two awkward stars making get-to-know-you talk at the Ivy.