Magazines for the rich leave me feeling poor
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, March 8, 2005

The rich are always one well-heeled step ahead, aren't they?
     No sooner do you discover which exclusive resort they're wintering at - and book yourself non-refundable plane and hotel reservations - than the Park Avenue princesses declare the island ``over'' and fly off to someplace even more remote.
     Well, they've struck again. Here we were, feeling so top percentile with our subscriptions to W and Forbes, when unbeknownst to us a layer of magazines so shiny they could cause vision damage was forming high above our heads.
     Perhaps you've heard of Absolute magazine? No? Oh, right. How could you have? It's only for New Yorkers with a household income of at least $500,000.
     (Well, for the moment it's only for those people. Wait a year or two and, if it's still around, look for it in tattered CVS bags.)
     But it's not just Absolute. There's L.A. Confidential, Ocean Drive and an American Express magazine so exclusive it reportedly has no name. And guess what? There's even a magazine planned for Boston.
     Hey, that sounds cool, I thought when I heard about Boston Commonwealth, which is set to debut this fall. Well, that's how I felt until I realized that hearing about these luxury publications may be the closest I'll come. Many are ``controlled-circulation'' - which means one doesn't subscribe. One is chosen to receive it.
     Hey, haven't any of those upscale publishers heard of the First Amendment? You know, freedom of read? If I had more time, I'd get together a class - poor schlubs united - and sue.
     ``Why do you want to read a magazine like that?'' a friend asked.
     ``The ads will tout things of huge, huge costliness,'' she said, ``and the articles will be worse. They won't be about getting grape juice stains off your sofa, but instead on finding the right maid to get grape juice stains off your sofa.''
     OK, so maybe the articles won't have that much to do with my lifestyle, but the showoff potential will be huge. Think how impressed my postman will be.
     On second thought, I guess I better be careful. You never know what lists the IRS can get its hands on.