It's not the thought that counts - it's the effort
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, December 4, 2003
I think we can all agree that when it comes to holiday presents, it's the thought that counts. Better to receive a hideous piece of junk that was lovingly chosen just for you than an Hermes Birkin bag given out of duty.
Well, that's the theory, anyway.
And yet, as valuable as thought may be, there's no reliable way to measure it, which probably has led to countless grievances since, if not the beginning of time, at least the invention of gift wrap.
Under the current system, you could spend years
badmouthing your sister for the ``dusty, old'' picture frame she gave you in 1997,
when, if you had only known the truth - it was an antique she found after hours
of shopping on Charles Street and getting a parking ticket in the process
- perhaps you two would be speaking now (or you would be on bad terms, but for
reasons unrelated to a lackluster gift).
So, with Peace on Earth in mind, I'm suggesting we add another slip of paper to the gift receipts taped to most presents: a Certificate of Effort that would provide the giftee with a ``degree of difficulty'' report.
Let's say someone sends you a present from an Internet
site - a Norah Jones CD from Amazon, perhaps, or a hat-and-mitten set from BananaRepublic.com
- you might think, Yes, I enjoy her music, or, I love cashmere, but how hard
is clicking from the comfort of your own home?
How hard is clicking? The COE will tell you exactly.
Perhaps the gift-giver got all the way through to the end of the check-out process and was all set to have your present mailed to you, when the site insisted that her billing address MUST be where she wants things sent, and when she hit the ``back'' button, all of her items were removed from her cart, forcing her to start again. Or perhaps she qualified for free shipping, only the site didn't seem to think so, so she had to call the customer-support number, and in the extra time that took, her toddler overturned a lamp in the living room.
Kinda makes you look at that CD or the mittens in a new light, doesn't it?
Or let's say a person decides to bake for co-workers. ``Big deal,'' some of those receiving the chocolate chip cookies may think, ``a few lousy cookies - L. brings those in every day.''
But think how much more those cookies would mean if each cute little gift baggie came with a note from a family member stating that the person in question never bakes, not even for her children - and never ever puts things in cute little gift baggies.
Of course, if there's one problem with the COE it's that the kind of person unwilling to put effort into a gift might be likely to spend time forging a COE, which is why a federal law should be passed requiring them to be notarized.
Happy holidays!
