As Rodney King said, albeit in a different context, ``Can't we all just get along?''

Apparently not. There are 21 shopping days left until Christmas, and already the stress is starting to fray relationships.

I was walking on Newbury Street yesterday, taking in the festive holiday decorations, when my cell phone rang. It was a good friend, and she was worked up.

``Leslie called to ask if she can stop by,'' she moaned. ``I'm going to be so mad if she brings us a present.''

Needles s to say, my friend was empty-handed. If she had been thinking on her feet, she could have fought off the visit - ``I'm sorry, but we all have TB'' - but it was too late to talk about what might have been. Leslie was on her way over.

``Don't you have anything at home you can just give her?'' I asked. ``Look around.''

``Here's a bottle of olive oil I thought you'd like, oh, wait, let me scrape off that Shaw's sticker with the price on it.''

As Leslie sped over, villain-style, my friend made a Christmas resolution: From now on, she would stock generic wrapped gifts at different price points, the better to deal with future ``emergencies.''

``If someone comes over and gives a gift,'' she said, ``they'll get one back. If they don't, they won't.''

That's right. It's the thought that counts.

But Christmas will do that to a person. Another friend, also a kind woman (though this story doesn't reflect it), confessed she and her husband often spend evenings during the holidays in a room at the back of their house because it isn't visible from the street.

``We put both cars in the garage so no one can tell if we're home,'' she said. ``Most people won't just leave a gift on the front door.''

And even if they do, at least you've bought yourself some time.

But gifts happen. So what to do? You always can give money, but there's something tacky about pulling out a roll of bills and cashing someone out, and most individuals don't take credit cards.

Let's see. You brought me a bottle of wine, and I know you shop at a discount liquor store, so it looks like we're talking about something in the $9 range. Here's $10. Keep the change - happy holidays.

Christmas isn't supposed to be a scary holiday, but in truth it's more frightening than Halloween. Listen to this tale of horror from last year:

``I was sitting at my desk at work,'' a friend told me, ``minding my own business, when I see a woman I'm only kind of friendly with heading towards me, holding . . . the dreaded gift bag.''

Anxiety twisted her gut.

My friend considered perjuring herself - ``I can't believe it! I left your present at home!'' - but decided that was only a short-term solution. Instead, she just accepted the gift, said ``thank you,'' and decided not to write a note.

``If I'm lucky, she'll think I'm rude and won't give me a present next year. Then the whole thing will be over.''

That's good for her, but what about the rest of us? Not everyone is so brave. What we need is a new law - federal - that requires the gifter to give the giftee two weeks' notice before springing the present. Upon penalty of death.