Carmela's lucky she didn't get whacked. Most people who disrespect Tony the way she did probably don't get off with a verbal reprimand.

In case you missed last Sunday's ``Sopranos,'' here's what happened: Carmela was in the kitchen, slicing some high-fat delicacy, when Tony walked in.

``What'd you do to your hair?''

``I cut it.''

``I taut we agreed you were going to talk to me first if you were going to do something to your head.''

And with that, the phone rang - in my house, that is.

``What' s with men?'' the voice on the other end of the line asked.

It was a friend who has long hair, which she has been wanting to cut for the past five years but hasn't, because her beloved - the man who promised to love her in sickness and in health - has made it clear that ``with long hair or short'' was not part of the vow.

``He says he signed up for a long-haired brunette,'' she said.

Stylists all over the city tell the same story: ``They come in with pictures of Reese Witherspoon's new hairstyle, and say `I'd love to look like this,' '' reports Richard Wright, an owner of Salon 350 on Newbury Street.

But don't expect to see an army of short-haired Witherspoons parading around town. Such is the power of love.

Wright said no man has ever come into the salon to avenge a pixie cut, but, then again, the stylists have scissors, so maybe it's just fear that keeps the men away.

One long-haired woman told me she taunts her husband before going to the salon: ``I'm going to cut it really short,'' she says in a sing-songy voice.

``It's like I'm saying, `The boogeyman's going to come and get you,' '' she said.

Meanwhile, another woman with long hair reported her boyfriends basically ``insist'' she not cut it. ``They say that when a woman gets married, the first thing she does is cut her hair,'' she said.

Wedding. Reception. Haircut.

Why do men care so much? One theory holds that they don't have good vision. ``They only see two things,'' one observer explained. ``A woman's body and the length of her hair.''

I know a man (with glasses, I might add) who keeps a lock of his wife's long hair, so I called him for some insight.

``I'm looking at a bag of her hair from when she cut it seven years ago,'' he said. ``I hope that doesn't sound creepy.''

He recalled the circumstances of the cut: ``We were in France together and she'd had long hair - it was halfway down her back - and I'd been pleading with her not to cut it. She said, `I'll go to a French hairstylist and it will look great.' ''

He accompanied her to the salon, and after the first lop, he reached down, picked up the hair and put it in a bag. ``I made the Frenchwoman laugh,'' he said, ``and that's something.''

``Why did you care about the hair?'' I asked.

``I guess it's a very primitive thing about plumage,'' he said.

``There's a point in your married life,'' he added, ``where you suddenly realize your wife's hair is getting shorter and shorter, and then one day it's shorter than yours.''

Tony better watch out.