Grading mommies might show us need
to repeat Parenting 101
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
As the mother of two preschoolers
I panicked when I read that Boston Public Schools plan to issue kindergarteners
report cards.
Where will the madness end? I wondered. And will
it sideswipe me before it does?
See, it's not my kids I'm worried about. They'd
do fine. It's me. What if they start grading parents? What if they send home a
card rating my academic and social development, mathematics and ``language arts''
skills?
Mommy reads only holiday catalogs; she does not
mingle well at cocktail parties; she can't compute a 15 percent tip at Bertucci's.
Or maybe we'd be judged - on a numbered scale, just
like the kids - in even dicier categories, such as:
A) Parking during drop-off and pickup.
1) Mommy pulled into a ``standing only'' spot and
then spent 20 minutes inside the school talking with other mothers.
2) Mommy zipped into a primo spot, pretending not
to notice the other mommy waiting for the spot. She's bad at sharing.
3) Mommy ``tapped'' the Odyssey in front of hers
while parallel parking, leaving a slight dent, but no note.
4) Mommy stopped her car and chatted while in an
active driveway, causing a five-minute back-up. She refused to say she was sorry.
B) Holiday gifts for the teachers.
1) Mommy put off buying the presents until the day
of, and was forced to run out during her lunch hour and buy ``festive'' candies
at CVS.
2) Mommy bought presents and gift bags, but cheaped
out on the tissue paper, so the little tubes of hand cream and the hand-dipped
candles bounced around awkwardly.
3) Mommy did everything right - and was smugly superior
in front of the other mothers.
C) Volunteering and play dates.
1) Mommy didn't have ``time'' to bake for the sale,
but did have time to get a facial anda mani-pedi.
2)Mommy did have time to bake for the bake sale,
and gossiped about the mothers who didn't.
3) Mommy served a visiting child a bowl of Cheetos.
But - and here she earned extra credit - she shared
them with the visiting mom!
