Job No. 1: Honing the clone's 2-do list
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, October 14, 2004
``Harvard University scientists have asked the university's ethical review board for permission to produce cloned human embryos for disease research.''
- Associated Press, Oct. 13
Harvard will no doubt have its questions, but here are mine:
Is it ethical to send your clone to your niece's bat mitzvah? What about if it's all the way down in Florida and you just know you're going to be stuck at Cousin Sid's table? And - not to be petty - but they didn't even acknowledge your son's high school graduation?
Can you make your clone study Sen. Kerry's, President Bush's and Ralph Nader's prescription drug and education plans so ``you'' can sound informed at cocktail parties?
Toward the same goal, can the clone be forced to read the ``World Business'' section in The New York Times? Follow the Scott Peterson trial? Watch Dr. Phil?
Is driving a carpool to early-morning ice hockey practice a violation of a clone's human (clonal?) rights? What about baking for both the preschool and elementary school bake sales, when the clone has told you she's on South Beach? How about coordinating the school's wrapping paper sales drive?
Is it fair to send your clone to your dentist appointment? How about if it's just this one time (a tooth with a deep filling is showing sensitivity to hot and cold), and you promise to start flossing?
In the interest of marital harmony, can the clone be tasked with keeping track of the whereabouts of the husband's: wallet, universal remote and Phillips screwdriver? Can she assume nagging duties?
Do you have to tell your spouse that you've got a clone? Right away? How about your mother? Must your first clone be informed if you spawn a second?
Is it morally acceptable to outsource schmoozing? What about Thanksgiving? Bathing suit and jeans shopping? Listening?
Is it wrong to make your clone transfer your phone book from your old cellphone to your new one? What about printing photos from your digital camera? Can she be the designated Internet site password-rememberer?
Not to get too greedy, but would your clone have to be a well, clone, or could you upgrade a bit and still have it be ``you''? If she had work done, would you look better?
And, finally, the trickiest ethical issue of all: Is it kosher to insist your clone be a Red Sox fan?
