I'm calling into question the veracity of political polls
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, October 5, 2004
I was reading the results of another campaign poll yesterday when it hit me - how come I'm never called by pollsters? I'm just dying to hear some Gallup hottie whisper those six little words into my ear, ``If the election were held today . . .''
Settling into my chair, I'd purr my answers, even if the kids were screaming and the pasta was boiling over: ``Stronger,'' I'd say, or ``less decisive.'' From my lips to the 527's ears.
But you know what? John Edwards [related, bio] has it right. There are two Americas. One whose residents have vital opinions that set agendas and change the direction of campaigns, and the other whose citizens are mute, reduced to reading about what other, apparently more important, Americans think.
Random shmandom.
Who, exactly, are these chosen people?
Not to sound like sour grapes - or ignored grapes - but does it strike anyone else that these pollees are an extremely shallow group?
Americans win a gold medal in beach volleyball during the Olympics, and Bush's ``favorability'' ratings go up. The Red Sox clinch the wild card, and Kerry is viewed as ``more presidential.'' Or the respondee has a headache, so she's ``less optimistic'' about the future than when Bush took over, or her headache's just gone away, so she's ``more optimistic.''
``Do pollsters go through the phone book looking for the Von Fickles?'' a very opinionated - but never polled - woman asked. (The only pollster who's ever called her was me, asking if she'd ever been polled.)
``I view these polls like electricity,'' she said. ``You know it's there but you can't see it.''
``And that 4 percent margin of error,'' she added, delighted to have someone - anyone - listening to her. ``What the heck is that? Someone either said `Kerry' or they said `Bush.' Were the pollsters not paying attention?
``I think they said `Kerry's ahead,' but `WWF Smackdown' was starting, and I didn't quite catch the whole response.''
I'm not sure Americans would support this - we'd need to take a poll - but I think it's time for polling reform. It should take more than 316 registered voters to make up a ``national'' poll. Let's increase the number to 3.16 million. I want Zogby's dialing finger to get a callus.
And let's get some accountability going. George Bush and John Kerry [related, bio] have to own up to their ads. Why should't John Q. Public?
``My Name is John Q.,'' a statement at the bottom of the poll would read, ``and I responded `a lot' when asked `how much George Bush cares about the needs and problems of people like me' even though I don't follow politics.''
And responders would be chosen by lottery, or through supermarket receipt coupons (10 percent off tuna and they want my opinion on WMDs).
That ought to give the rest of us a chance to participate. Although I'm not sure I'd really want to under those circumstances.
It's like the prom: I just want to be asked.
