I just saw Mitt Romney's ad for Prom King - the I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt TV commercial - and as a female voter, I think it's pretty safe to say that I've made up my mind.

Mitt Damon's my man!

Because if there's one quality I look for - no, demand - in someone who's going to be spending my tax dollars, it's a washboard gut, a six-pack, a bod that could work as a double for Brad Pitt.

I mean, really. Think how you'd feel if you voted for a candidate you'd only seen fully clothed, and then inauguration day comes, and there's the governor-elect, scantily clad, on the steps of the State House, right hand on the Bible, thighs riddled with cellulite.

But we know there's nothing to fear with Mitt. I've seen him bare-chested in a bathing suit, goofing around with his hunky sons, and as one of the little ladies the ladies' man needs on election day, I had one thought:

Step into the voting booth, pull the dingy curtain, and talk education issues to me baby, whisper sweet co-pays in my ear, canoodle while we plot to push through that voter-approved tax rollback.

But, of course, politics isn't all about BMI. So if there's another thing I as an informed voter need to know, it's how each candidate spent prom night. Because the last thing I want in a politician setting education policies is some freaky independent type who didn't even go to the prom, or some too-cool-for-schooler who went, but with a group, or who went, but didn't dress up, or who went, but for whom (and perhaps this is the worst of all) it was not a defining experience.

I was surprised to hear that some women don't really like the Mitt and Ann ad. ``I'm happy for them,'' one voter told me, ``but what does their love at first sight have to do with me?''

Just about a gazillion tourist dollars, that's all. You may recall that our state happens to be in the middle of choosing a new slogan, and that perhaps under Mitt's leadership we'd have a legitimate shot at stealing something really good, like Virginia's ``. . .is for lovers'' line.

``Massachusetts is for lovers.'' It sounds pretty nice, doesn't it?

But even though I'm a life-long woman, I'm not just voting with my fluttering heart, or my heaving bosom. Because in addition to being the sexiest Massachusetts Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Alive (2002), Mitt's also a good man to have around the (state) house, as evidenced by another ad that shows him doing all that manual labor.

I like to know that my governor could, if things in the state got tight, pitch in and sell sausages at Fenway, or help pave the roads, or take on a second job as a lobsterman, or a car mechanic.

If there's one thing wrong with Mitt's approach, it's that his commercials make him seem too perfect - he's the best husband, the funnest dad, the richest fisherman - and hence people might be too jealous to vote for him.

Oh, wait a minute. It's just been pointed out to me that the ads don't try to make Mitt seem perfect. ``If that were the case,'' one female voter concluded, ``they'd show him doing something that would really appeal to women. Like picking up a carton of milk on the way home from work without being asked, or folding laundry.''

Yeah, that's right. Now that I think about it, if Mitt really wants my vote he should ``clean up the mess,'' like he's always promising. And he should start at my house. In the kitchen.