Scandal-weary nation needs some real dope, not just Kitty
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Here's something we don't need Alan Greenspan to tell us: We're in a bombshell recession. Or maybe a full-fledged depression.
Blame Bill Clinton, or JFK, or reality TV or the 527s. But whoever's at fault, one thing's clear: The scandal bar's gotten so high that nothing registers a gasp anymore.
I guess that's what happens after the country's binged on stained dresses and cigars.
The proof that the bubble has burst? Yesterday's release of Kitty Kelly's unauthorized biography, ``The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty.''
If we were living in ``old normal'' times, the 700-page book would have launched endless ``Can you believe . . .?'' phone calls, and sparked delicious time-wasting watercooler talk.
Floods of e-mails would have been clogging servers.
Instead, it was greeted by the public with a big yawn, a collective ``eh, so what'' - even though Doubleday insists it's ``the book the Bush family doesn't want you to read.''
The truth? It's the book you don't want you to read. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands and you've been in living in a cloister since 41's administration, that is.
Let's look at the Big Revelations in ``The Family:''
W. snorted coke at Camp David when his father was president. Sorry Kitty, but call me - or try to get me to spend $29.95 - when he's caught burying a body.
And Laura? She allegedly sold pot when she was a college coed. Interesting-ish, but once you get beyond noting that ``she looks so clean-cut now,'' what more is there to say?
The bit about Barbara Bush being a ``pearl-wearing mugger the equal of Ma Barker'' isn't bad, but don't we sort of already knew that?
As for H.W. hanging toilet paper on a male nude statue - that's just kind of sad, as witty and naughty as a ``pull my finger'' joke.
So, with all due respect to the years Kitty spent sleuthing, here's what readers would really like to have found out:
Who signed off on that idiotic banter Karen Hughes wrote for the Bush twins to deliver at the Republican National Convention?
How bitter is Jeb that W.'s the one who got to be president?
Why does W. have to clear his own brush on his Crawford ranch?
Who has Barney bitten?
It's tempting to blame Kelly for failing to titillate us, but really, we're all at fault.
The American people need to elect leaders who promise security, job growth, health care for all - and a little ``something on the side.''
