Take a hike, yoga chumps, if you want to be really healthy
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, September 8, 2004
What's the best way to get a ``yoga butt''?
Don't do yoga.
According to a new study, yoga offers less than half the physical benefits of a light to moderate walk.
In other words, your great aunt Elma's getting a better workout shuffling around the mall than Christy Turlington in her best Cobra Pose.
In other other words: Ha ha! Sorry, I was just channeling the sentiments of all those left out of Yoga Nation.
``Yoga's a good form for flexibility and muscular fitness,'' one of the Texas State University researchers told Reuters, ``but it's not so good for weight loss and aerobic conditioning.''
Let's just meditate on that little nugget of wisdom for a minute. I don't know about you, but I've spent the past decade in the grip of yoga hype, angsting about all the benefits I was supposedly missing by not doing so much as a Mountain Pose. Now it turns out I should have been angsting about all the mountain hikes I wasn't taking. Well, at least I'm glad I didn't invest in one of those doofus mats.
How did yoga get such a good rep, anyway? If you believe the spin - and I always do - yoga is supposed to make you stronger, taller, fitter and wiser.
But not, apparently, wise enough to just get off the mat and go for a heart-boosting stroll around the block.
Here's my theory: Because the people who practice yoga are much sexier than those who just walk for exercise - let's be honest - everyone naturally assumed yoga was the key. There's all that bending and stretching and contorting - how can the fat not melt off?
But perhaps it isn't the yoga that improves the appearance of its disciples, but that the attractive are drawn to an activity that allows them to sit around and look at themselves in the mirror.
Also, because yoga clothes are not what you'd call figure-flattering, only the svelte are willing to be seen in them - and hence, it becomes a Discipline of the Cellulite-free.
And, of course, there's the food. It just makes sense that a ``sport'' associated with soy, free-range bean sprouts and chai would be better for you than one whose official noshes are the hot dog and the ice cream cone.
Thinking about all the New Years I wasted resolving to start a yoga program, I started to get pretty ticked, until I had a smug epiphany: Think how good the yoga people would look if they'd been walking all this time.
