This crew would give new meaning to `acting gov.'

By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, August 12, 2003

He's putting on a brave face, going about business as usual, but if I were Mitt, I'd be worried. Very worried.

No, not about payback from Whitey. About the Arnold factor.

We know that everything moves from West to East - the weather, decaf skinny lattes, underarm Botox.

So it can't be long before a member of the Screen Actors Guild follows the Terminator's lead and decides to run for governor of Massachusetts.

And in every other state, for that matter.

Well, we can hope, at least.

Yes, I know what you may be thinking: Politics shouldn't be entertainment. But why not? Heck, it's not like politics is working so great the way it is. Nor is our actual entertainment all that entertaining.

Think about how fun it would be if we were to go to an all-celeb cast of state leaders. In the future - hopefully the near future - the annual meeting of the National Governors Association, once relegated to C-Span and covered by a few musty political reporters, would instead run on the E! channel, with political commentary provided by Joan Rivers.

``Here comes Gov. Zeta-Jones of Illinois, looking lovely in Calvin.''

OK. Technically, Catherine doesn't live in the state. But she did win Best Supporting Actress for her work in `Chicago,'' and if that doesn't qualify a person to lead Illinois, I don't know what does.

Actual governing experience, perhaps? Yes, that's one route to take. But it's not as if many of our celebrities haven't been in politics for years. Tell me the people of New Hampshire - the home state of the ``West Wing's'' President Bartlet - wouldn't be delighted to have Martin Sheen as their next governor. The man's already led the free world. I'm sure he can take care of a small Northeastern state.

Yes, the salaries for public servants would rise - Gov. Julia Roberts would command upwards of $20 million per term - but the right governor could fill coffers with increased tourism revenue. A fly-over state like Idaho would surely enjoy a boost in visitors if a certain resident or two were to run for office. Who wouldn't consider vacationing there, and taking the statehouse tour, if it meant you'd have a strong chance of spotting a Gov. Bruce Willis, or a Gov. Demi Moore (perhaps making out with state Rep. Ashton Kutcher)?

And think how much more attractive the statehouse staffers would be. Out with the policy wonks and legislative aides, in with the stylists, the hair and makeup people, and the personal trainers.

And the campaign ads? Instead of focusing on such dull matters as taxes and jobs, they'd be as fun to watch as a good ``Saturday Night Live'' skit: ``He stunk in `Pearl Harbor,' '' a snarky voice-over would whisper to clips of Ben Affleck. ``He was worse in `Gigli.' Do you really want a leading man like this leading your state?''

I say let's go for it. But let's be careful about the aftermath. We don't want hordes of newly unemployed politicians flooding Hollywood. Movies are just too important to leave to the amateurs.