It's tough for J. Lo and Ben to save costs - and face

by Beth Teitell

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

Pity, if just for a moment, Bennifer. Here they are, a mere three or four People magazine covers and another lap-dance scandal or two away from their wedding day, a time when they should be canoodling carefree at pricey Malibu restaurants and lavishing each other with his-and-hers stretch Humvees, and jetting first class to visit each other on their respective movie sets, and what does America go and do?

Or go and not do?

We don't go to ``Gigli,'' that's what. As you probably know by now, the film tanked last weekend, bringing in a mere $3.8 million, and, as the Boston Sunday Herald reported ominously: `` `Gigli' fallout may doom Bennifer.''

Doom Bennifer.

I don't know about you, but I felt kind of panicky when I read that. How bad is it? I wondered. I mean, what if they have to cut back on their spending?

Desperate to help them, I tried to figure out how the couple could trim costs without really noticing a difference in their lifestyle.

Hmm. Maybe they could put their $15 million Georgia mansion in a time-share program, and instead of stocking her trailers with fresh white flowers, J. Lo could use silk, which could move from trailer to trailer, and in lieu of making out at seaside restaurants all the time, they could nuzzle over French toast and eggs Benedict at home (or homes, as the case may be).

I mentioned my financial planning ideas to a friend in the business, hoping she could pass along some tips, but she pointed out that when you're living in the Beno-sphere, cutting back isn't really a possibility, even if money is getting tight.

``Think about it,'' she said, mentioning the enormous ring Ben gave Jen for her birthday on July 24, and the 100 relatives he flew in to celebrate the big day. ``What's he going to do next year? Invite a few people to a no-host party at some dive bar, and give her a sweater set from Banana Republic and a Kate Spade wallet?''

So now they're faced with a situation in which not only are they about to start their lives together with a gloomy financial outlook - ``Crime-romance will put the hit on Ben and J. Lo, insiders say,'' the Herald reported on Sunday - but they're facing personal stress, too.

You know how sometimes a couple is driving to a dinner party and they're late and then they get lost and they turn on each other, and then they show up at the party not only 30 minutes into the meal, but not speaking to each other?

Well, magnify that stress times 100, or 1,000, because any Bennifer failure is public. I don't know who's angrier with who, but if I were J. Lo, and I thought I was marrying an actor, I wouldn't be so happy to read this in The New York Times on opening day: ``Mr. Affleck is a handsome face and a bad accent in search of a character.''

Can't you just see her throwing that in his face during a pre-wedding squabble? ``What's with the bad accent, Ben?''

And we little people wonder why Hollywood couples split.