H ow long does a vacation glow last?

The question arose yesterday, when one of my colleagues returned from a week off looking very - curse her! - relaxed.

``You look like you have no bones,'' someone observed.

``Thank you,'' she said, smiling and making her body go limp.

I was jealous, but I also pitied her. My vacation ended weeks ago, and by now my glow is such a dim memory I don't even miss it anymore. But her? She's in love with her new perspective on life, and she's in that honeymoon period where she thinks it will last forever (just like Angelina and Billy Bob, I pointed out helpfully, and look what happened to them).

So there she was, basking in her mellowness, when another colleague relayed a cautionary tale:

A few weeks ago she'd thrown a ``hissy fit'' after getting a memo. The fit was witnessed by a co-worker who'd gotten the same memo, but who had just . . . returned from vacation.

``Don't let it get to you, I'm not,'' he said.

So a few hours later she went into Mr. Post-Vacation's office and he appeared to be in a . . . bad mood. ``I'm back,'' he snarled.

``He had almost a whole day of glow?'' a friend said when I mentioned the story to her. Her glow disappears, she said, at the airport.

``After a week in Hawaii - in a suite, paying $11 for margaritas and wearing a bathing suit - I realized at Maui International that: a) I gained 5 pounds; b) I'm in incredible debt; and c) On the way home I'm sure to die in a fiery, hideous crash with people I don't know and probably don't like.

``Then I wonder who will take care of (my dog) and hope no one reads my journals or sees the size 12 dresses in my closet.''

The literature on vacation glow is surprisingly thin, but I did find two Internet sites that addressed the issue.

One, an advice column called ``Ask Dr. Tracy,'' warns against meeting a stranger and falling in love on vacation.

``When you're on vacation, you're in a different mindset,'' the doctor writes. ``You're not thinking about daily life and its problems. You're not thinking about achieving your lifelong goals.''

True, but I can't say I think about those back in my ``real life'' either. Oh well.

The other site looked at the professional side of the glow, and offered advice on staving off the ``post-vacation blues.''

``Call a co-worker a day before you head back in,'' it advises. ``Find out what has been going down since you've been away - new projects, most recent emergencies, etc.''

Is it just me, or doesn't that just kill the glow a day earlier?

Anyway, the whole question may be moot since I'm not totally convinced there actually is a glow. Perhaps what's at work is the old getting-ready-for-a-vacation-makes-you-need-a-vacation syndrome.

Here's my theory: In the week or so before you take off you're rude and frantic, and this is how co-workers come to think of you. When you return from your trip you're actually just back to your pre pre-vacation self, but since they've forgotten about that person - and remember only the total jerk you were right before you left - you appear to be glowing.

OK, probably not. But as someone who's already taken her summer vacation and burned through her glow, it's what I'm telling myself.