Trendsetters line up for newest fad
By Beth Teitell
Thursday, July 1, 2004
This is the season of the line. Have you noticed?
Smarty Jones' fans kicked things off in early June, lining up to see a horse's van as it drove him from Philly to Belmont.
Midmonth, more than 100,000 lined up under the broiling D.C. sun to pass by Ronald Reagan's flag-draped casket - and that was in addition to the thousands who'd lined up on the West Coast, choking traffic on the Ronald Reagan Freeway.
Now the lines are forming for author Bill Clinton, many of them thousands of standers long.
And somewhere, a ``Harry Potter'' line must be forming (for what I'm not sure) and one for the ``Lord of the Rings,'' too. And ``Star Trek.''
I thought Americans were supposed to be so busy. Too busy to cook, exercise, write thank-you notes. That's the rap on us. But not too busy to camp out - overnight, in some cases, and with young children - for a chance to be ``part of history.'' (What part I'm not sure.)
And here's the thing: Although standing in line seems like a benign activity - the standers are not protesting or hurling anything, but earnestly and patiently waiting for something that's important to them - they're under constant verbal attack, either from those who never stand in line for anything, or those will queue up, but for something else.
``Why would you wait in the hot sun for hours for a quick pass by a casket?'' someone will ask rhetorically, as she watches breaking news coverage of the Reagan line as it inched along (as lines do).
Later, the Reagan linee, her duty over, will express disgust over those standing for Clinton. ``Who would wait to get a book signed by him?''
Meanwhile, the anti-linists among us (smugly) pose different questions: ``What could possibly be worth waiting in line for?'' And: ``How can they spend 24 hours in line for a three-second meeting with fill-in-the-blank?''
But we line maligners don't get it. Our line math does not apply. If you listen to testimony from those who've been in line - and how can you avoid it? - it becomes obvious that waiting is part of the experience.
To borrow from Shakespeare, ``The line's the thing.''
``I waited for eight hours to see . . .'' they'll report proudly. In the sun with no shade, no good snacks, no bathroom, no sparkling water, no TV, only a cellphone for sustenance.
A line is like a do-it-yourself version of ``Survivor.''
How long until there's an all-line cable station, which will go live whenever and wherever a new line forms?
Broadcasting 24 hours a day, its anchors will become celebrities, making cameos to support members of various lines and, inevitably, appearing at their own book signings, at the end of very long . . . lines.
