A gift for Brit? My mind's racing with possibilities
By Beth Teitell
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
It will be three long days until the People magazine with the exclusive Britney Spears/Kevin Federline interview and - new photo! - hits the stands, so until then, Britney fans eager for details of the Pop Tart's latest engagement, this time to a professional dancer, will just have to busy themselves as best they can.
I'm sad to report that some are spending their time taking potshots at the bride-to-be, posting nasty messages along the lines of her being a lousy stepmother because she fears she might “break a nail.”
Me, I'm going to turn my energy in a positive direction, and select wedding gifts. Where? Well, she's on record saying she plans to register at Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdale's and . . . wait for it . . . the NASCAR Store (what, you didn't think NASCAR would have a bedding and bath selection?)
Strangely, NASCAR's superstore had no registry site, but that was no problem - the gifts practically choose themselves. I just hope someone doesn't beat me to the Dale Earnhardt Jr. toothbrush three-pack or the NASCAR stained-glass table lamp.
Or, maybe NASCAR bedding's the way to go. You know, for the evening pit stop. True, the quilt and sheets don't come in queen or king sizes, but the twin size will be perfect for Kevin's visiting children (he has a 2-year-old daughter with his ex-girlfriend, and a son's on the way).
Between you and me? If everything's already snapped up by the time I'm ready to make my purchases, I might give them a Dale Earnhardt Jr. limited-edition commemorative bucket from Kentucky Fried Chicken, or maybe even a set, so they'll have good buckets for when company comes.
Or maybe automotive accessories would be better. As someone with family in Goose Greek, N.C., told me, “‘Any self-respecting Southerner (like Britney) knows the truck is muy importante. It's like another room. We have conservatories, they have the truck. Some Jeff Gordon car mats, perhaps?”
In the mood to browse, I went to Crate & Barrel, and, surprised to find no listing under Britney's name, I called customer service. “Could you spell the bride's name?” the associate asked. I did. Nothing. “What month is the event?” November.
“I'm not showing anything,” she said. “Can I get the groom's name?” I spelled Kevin's surname.
Still nothing.
“Did you get an invitation to the wedding?” she asked. “Maybe there's something on there that could help me.”
“I have reason to believe,” I said, “that it's in the mail.”
Next, I punched Britney's name into Bloomingdale's registry, and what appeared, but Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake??? With an event date of Jan. 31, 2007, no less.
Puzzled, I called customer service. “I just read something in the paper about her getting engaged to someone else,” the associate said. “My suggestion is to wait a little to see if the correct pair shows up.”
It was good advice, but my mind was racing with questions: Had a hopeful Britney set up the Justin registry? Was it a joke? Does Cameron know?
The associate couldn't help me, but she whispered this bit of wisdom: “I will tell you celebrities don't usually register under their own names,” she said.
They don't? Well, if that's how she wants to play it, Britney doesn't even deserve a gift from me - especially not a limited-edition commemorative bucket, I'll tell you that.
