Passenger weigh-ins have heavy implications

by Beth Teitell
Thursday, April 3, 2003

 

As if flying these days isn't punishing enough, the conditions may get even worse. Much worse.

The Federal Aviation Administration may order a nationwide survey that would require airlines to weigh passengers before permitting them to board.

Sorry, ma'am, but if you really wanted to fly to Nantucket, perhaps you shouldn't have wolfed down that Cinnabon in the food court. Now please step on the scale, or I'm going to have to call security.

What's next? Will joking about your weight in an airport become a federal crime?

I thought taking off my shoes at Logan was an invasion, but if the FAA decides to force weigh-ins, slipping off a pair of boots will be nothing compared with the strip-down I'd do for a meeting with the scale.

(No, taking off my clothes wouldn't be mandatory, but if American Airlines thinks I'm going to face the truth wearing so much as a T-shirt, even if the safety of an entire planeload of women and children is at stake, it's got another think coming.)

The potential nationwide weight survey would follow the smaller, monthlong weigh-in the agency mandated in February, following the crash of a 19-seat turboprop that was within 100 pounds of its maximum load.

That study, conducted by two dozen regional airlines, found that the flying public has packed on the pounds during the past decade. On average, passengers now weigh more than the estimates the airlines use to determine whether planes are too heavy to fly.

(Hey, think how much fatter we'd be if the airlines hadn't cut down on their in-flight meal service.)

I'm no aviation expert, but as someone with extensive dieting experience, I'm concerned, in a professional way, that the FAA hasn't truly thought through the weigh-in implications.

Here are some questions I think need to be addressed before the first scale arrives at Logan:

  • Will airlines provide steam rooms where you can sweat off water weight before check-in? Will there be treadmills available or, as one frequent flier suggested, pre-flight barf-bags?

  • Are any plans in place to deal with a likely increase in air rage as passengers are forced to confront their vacation weight gain before getting home? Will grief counselors be available? How about Weight Watchers representatives?

  • Has an economic analysis been conducted on the potential loss of business resulting from the scale threat? The airline industry is already reeling from concerns over SARS and terrorism. Throw BMI panic into the mix, and we could be looking at mass bankruptcy declarations.

  • Would proper privacy protections be in place? Would the scales be placed behind screens, for example? And would passenger weights be called out for everyone, including spouses, to hear, or would they be discreetly entered into the computer by the ticket agent? And once in the system, would your weight be sold to interested businesses who could then target you with promotional materials for Lean Cuisines or Jenny Craig?

    So what happens if a nationwide test duplicates the results of the regional one, and it turns out that yes, we're a bunch of flying moose?

    Regional carriers might be required to carry less fuel to lighten the load or - and here's where it gets serious - fly with fewer passengers.

    Think how insulting it would be if the agent saw you coming and declared the flight ``full.''