NFL for Her Web site needs to tackle bigger issues
by Beth Teitell

Friday, January 28, 2000

Which is harder - playing football, or watching it?

I've never actually played - my family didn't have a compound like the Kennedys' - but I did spend last weekend watching the playoffs. Sure, the players get pushed really hard sometimes, or yelled at by their coaches, but at least they're getting paid for their time. Me? I just ate too much.

As a girl, of course, I'd be within my rights to declare myself a Super Bowl-free zone, and go doily shopping on Sunday, or, if I'm forced to go to a party, to spend the whole time saying things like, ``I don't find those colors flattering - who wears gold with purple? And besides, shoulder pads are so out,'' or ``Someone should tell him he has dirt smudges under his eyes.''

But if I've learned one thing, it's that you get out of life what you put into it. So I decided I would study the game, become a femme football fatale. You know the type: One minute she's in the kitchen whipping up a bowl of Doritos and a keg, the next she's in front of the TV yelling ``Go for the two-point conversion!''

I logged onto NFL.com, and, well, talk about a coincidence. It turns out they must have realized how hungry women are to learn about football, because the site has a whole section called ``NFL for Her.''

I decided to start with ``Girl Talk.'' I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't ``shop for NFL merchandise,'' or ``tailgating recipes.''

Shopping and cooking? I'd say the site was written in the 1950s, except that I'm pretty sure the NFL didn't have a Web site back then (although I am just a girl, so I could be wrong about that!).

I called the NFL to ask if the Girl Talk section wasn't a bit of a throwback, and spoke with Robert Falcey, a public relations assistant. He seemed confused by my question. ``Do you mean it's not technical enough?'' he asked.

Yeah, that's it. I needed more info on what brand of chicken and beef bouillion cubes I was supposed to use in ``Brad Johnson's Famous Lasagna.'' (I must confess that I'd never heard of the quarterback's lasagna before, or him for that matter, but maybe it's famous with Washington Redskins fans.)

I was incensed by the NFL's attitude, but nevertheless downloaded Brett Favre's recipe for crawfish etoufee, and with it, this cute little story.

``For the (Green Bay) Packers' annual Christmas party, Brett and Deanna Favre make one of their signature Southern specialty dishes. Deanna tells this story about the 1996 party. `We decided we would make shrimp creole,' she says. `I went out shopping for all the ingredients. And, while Brett was at practice, I prepared the dish - peeled, cut and cooked all the shrimp and so on. When Brett got home, I was tired and went upstairs to change clothes for the party. While I was getting ready, Brett mixed the prepared ingredients together and put the shrimp creole in a serving dish. When we got to the party, Brett immediately called everyone's attention to the great dish he had prepared, which just confirmed for me that behind every great man, there is an even better woman.' ''

I detected a slight note of bitterness in Deanna's voice - we all know peeling shrimp is no fun - but even so, the anecdote got me really psyched up about football, so I clicked over to another helpful tutorial the NFL has cooked up for girls: ``Football 101.'' There I learned something astounding: ``The team with more points at the end of the game wins.''

What? No wonder women can't understand football. It's too complicated.